Arson summertime madness1/29/2024 Libra: The stars want you to stop taking depression naps to skip through the day. It’s best to get a plan with more swipes than you think you need that way, you’ll provide a worthy monetary sacrifice to our corporate overlords, Chartwells. Virgo: A new semester is right around the corner, so it’s time you choose a meal plan. Sure, you may have wanted to be an astronaut since you were a kid, but you also wanted Xavier to win March Madness, so maybe keep things more realistic. Hiking is like walking, except only the worst parts. And if you don’t know what that means, then finagle yourself a dictionary.Ĭancer: Watch out! Your friends are going to invite you on a long, boring hike soon. Gemini: Finagle yourself a new pair of sunglasses. Swipe right on every person on Tinder, ESPECIALLY the ones with no pictures and weirdly vague bios like “hey.” Taurus: The stars forecast love in your future, so don’t take any chances. You want to show everyone on campus that you had fun in the sun, but you’re not a nerd that has to lather themselves in white goop first. Real smooth-brain move, posting about it, by the way.Īquarius: Summer’s almost over, so work on your sunburn. Still got FOMO? Well, now you’ve got bigger problems, livin’ on the run and all that. Triumphantly return to Instagram and post a picture of your prison gang, with the caption: “I was behind bars, but starting now I’m gonna be among the stars,” thus triggering your followers’ notification that you just posted for the first time in a while. Break out of prison with your prison significant other.Good luck explaining that you committed arson for Instagram clout. You’ll get the clout you desperately desire when everyone’s posting on their stories saying, “FREE MY SLIME! THEY DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG.” Get sent to prison for one to five years.Get arrested for arson because your drunken fireworks shenanigans caused some “mild” property damage.Drown your sorrows in booze and then drunkenly post yourself messing with fireworks to your real Instagram (thinking it’s your fInsta).Lucky for you, you don’t need friends to beat FOMO. Choose a main street but not a highway - this way you can see just how depressingly boring the place you live in is.ĭon’t have friends? Well, I should’ve guessed since you actually read the school paper. Grab a friend and just drive on one street for as long as that street will take you.Play the Wii in your friend’s basement - the one they still have from 2007. ![]() Hang out at Walmart at two in the morning and race your friends on those motorized carts.Since you probably live in a sleepy suburb somewhere, here are some Instagram-able activities you can do to strike jealousy into those lake house-havers and Miami Beach-going jabronies. Scrolling through Instagram right now is rough, especially for those of us who don’t have disposable income to blow on spontaneous trips to Colorado with their best friends. Nearly 10 tips to beat summertime FOMO By Sebastian Aguilar, Audio Editor
0 Comments
Leave a Reply.AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |